“If you want it to work, make it a ritual.”  -Me

Most days I make my bed.

No one is watching. The kids are at school; my wife is at work. There is no audience for the small symmetry of pulled sheets and perfect pillow placement, no consequence if I leave the blankets in a careless heap. So why bother?

Because the smallest rituals make room for the biggest returns.

Mornings arrive noisy. A line of people have formed in my mind and waiting on my phone: texts awaiting reply, emails demanding attention, the low-grade fever of social media, the musing of meetings yet to come. It’s the stuff that makes work… work.

Some days feel less like leadership and more like a collision – everyone speaking at once, everything needing attention. I have come to think of it as “all the televisions on,” the sensory overload of a sports bar where every screen competes and every volume is turned up. In those times, everything feels urgent; everything feels late.

Even in roles that require us to rush – emergency personnel for example – ritual is the reason for success. The steady hand beneath the chaos, the rehearsed responses that keeps panic from setting the pace. Ritual does not remove urgency; it prevents urgency from multiplying a problem.

Making the bed is a ritual that tends to turn the TV’s off because it puts me back in control. My nervous system regulates and I rebelliously refuse to let the noisy demands of the day rush me. Not only am I making my bed – I make better decisions.

That’s profound power of everyday rituals.

Rituals are rhythms that can help us or hold us back. When you look at your life, chances are you have what you have – for better or worse – from your day in, day out rhythms and routines. A great life is not determined in grand gestures, only repeated ones.

A recent ritual for me is pushing pause before pushing back on someone pushing my buttons. I used to think I had to respond right away. In younger years, my first instinct was to fight. I wasn’t just comfortable with conflict, I enjoyed it. The impulse to defend my position, correct someone’s thinking or say something snarky needed a new ritual.

Building bridges is more fun than constantly rebuilding the ones you burned.

Nowadays I press pause. I set my phone down and wait for my mind to make the proverbial bed. If there’s no rush to respond, I might wait an hour or even all day. Please hear me – it’s not naturally easy! I sometimes need to press pause 20 times in some situations, but by the time I respond, I am more ‘me’ – calm, collected and careful in my response. This small ritual is bringing better results to my personal and professional life.

Rituals glue families together. Rituals make poor people rich. Rituals help sick people get strong. If you want it to work, make it a ritual.

Other rituals that have worked into my life :

-Waiting a week to buy something

-Taking the stairs

-Moving $50 a week into an IRA

-Setting my fork down between bites

-Regular dates with my wife

Rituals around waking up and winding down can be especially helpful since whatever we do after dinner each night is either a deposit to or a withdrawal from tomorrow. Your quality of life is equal to the quality of your rituals.

Take Action :

What is one ritual that has already helped you?

What is one you could create right now that would let you see real results in just a few weeks?

If you find this helpful, consider sharing it. It only takes a minute and helps everyone. Until next time…

Cheers,

Mark